The world became a brighter place this Saturday night when we came across the South Devon Chilli Farm. Not only are they dedicated to the most important food group (after bacon and cheese), they've managed to craft the purest of fruit into all manner of oral vivification. Having just wiped a large smear of their Chilli Jam from our lips, H&G urge you to fill your virtual basket to the brim with the food from the gods. WP

The 3 rules of cookery
For those of you who have been on tenterhooks anticipating the H&G demystification of the gastronomic arts - that is, absolutely nobody - then you may wonder no more. For almost 33 years, H&G have been honing the art of drunken cookery: the art of conjuring magic from the most empty of cupboards, the most bereft of fridges...should you be able to answer in the affirmative to question 1 of the three rules, H&G guarantee a satisfied guest; should you be able to answer "yes" to question 2, you are referred back to question 1. In the rich and varied field of human history, there has never been an acceptable answer to question 3.

The rules are:

1. Does it have cheese and bacon on it?

2. Could it have cheese and bacon on it?

3. Why can't it have cheese and bacon on it?

If you are pondering an attempt to answer question 3, remember: such monumental thinkers as Confucious, Socrates, Einstein and Bergkamp have tried and failed.

There are many things that amuse us, not least the more inscrutable nations and their highly original past-times. We love this - from the land that created videogames how about this for true retro funWP

H&G generally approve of cats. Their haughty demeanor allows a mutually beneficial, ribald dialogue whereby we, as humans, can wind them up without their knowing and they can bad-mouth us behind our backs. And you know they do. Two of our favourite premptive actions live here: http://www.stuffonmycat.com and here: http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com

Seen Love Island on ITV1? These nonentities haven't seen the show before, haven't a clue how the format works and if you've paid attention to the broadcasts and/or read about it in the papers, you'll notice that they all know each other, that they're part of a certain London set. It's like the producers strolled into Boujis and threw a net over the first 8 idiots they could find.

The Guardian is the best newspaper in the world, Part 1: nothing to do with its politics you understand - H&G try not to discuss politics - no, it's the writing. Our favourite film review so far, from The Guide's review of Ripley's Game starring John Malkovitch:
"Malkovitch delivers what can only be described as 'plenty of acting'". Genius. JR

('Superhuman' Ashley and Cheryl as they 'charm and inspire')
A question....has society now finally given up on any pretence of intelligence ? If the news that the London Planetarium has been rebranded as 'The Stardome' is anything to go by, then we might as well give up now.

Instead of the wonders of the firmament, visitors to this new monstrosity are taught how to walk and talk like celebrities - according to cartoon alien Dr Humbert Trellis, this is the most important thing we can be. 'A Celebrity is someone superhuman who inspires and charms us all' intones the
narrator. Life Jim is most certainly not as we would have it known. WP

An honest and genuine evening was held last Thursday in Bedford Square gardens for the Hendricks Chap Olympics. H&G are readers and contributors to The Chap Magazine it was only right that we took part in an array of events including the 'Cucumber Sandwich Discus, 'Vulgarity Hurdles' and of course 'Shouting At Foreigners'.

Caswell Cornford, most notorious rake of late-Victorian England and Enoch 'Soames' Soames, duellist and gentleman adventurer both made gin fuelled entrances. Recognising an event of this magnitude, Auntie also popped by - BBC link

Onwards with the tweed revolution....you have nothing to lose but your cufflinks. WP

So, the other day, I discovered Turducken. It's not a patch on Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall's ten bird roast, but I think it sounds rather fabulous. Especially covered in bacon; which reminds me of the three rules of cookery...