We have sent a man to the moon, taught monkeys how to use typewriters and even found a way to put cheese in the crust of pizzas (go Pizza Hut...) but when it comes to voice recognition software truly we live in the dark ages. Which is why it puzzles H&G that Odeon cinemas, who rely on ticket sales by phone for 50% of their revenue , have such a desperate system.

If you've even been subjected to the charmless computer voice who interprets the world 'Guildford' with the reply 'I think you are looking for the Odeon Leamington Spa...is that correct?' then you'll know what we mean.

Even more surprising is that the company that makes the software is proud to be named. Voice recognition software by Telephonetics. A company whose name is cleverer than its service.