Now the man legend that is Charlie Brooker has long been applauded by H&G for his extra special turn of phrase.

Describing Mark Bannerman in the latest ITV dung heap of I'm A Celebrity he imagines the likely orgasm face of the ex-Eastender as 'at the point of climax he merely looks confused , gawping at the yop spurting from his fun-pole in cowed amazement'.

So to celebrate his best parts we give you 'The Top 10 Cocks in Advertising'.

Enjoy

Still in the frame as The Spare's sort of ex-girlfriend her fame allows her to be classed within our new feature of celebrities who look like other celebrities. And frankly someone had to finally pluck up the courage - not since Letitia Dean has the Miss Piggy mantle been so deserved

Consumers.

A word that has long irritated H&G. Marketeers, advertisers, commentators and even (and especially) Radio 5 djs. They're all it.

'Consumers are in control '

'Consumers are empowered'

ENOUGH !

They are people. They are not mute animals waiting to be fed the next commercial message. They make choices about which brands to buy or not and just to be very clear, they are not eagerly waiting for your next tedious advertising spot.

It doesn't make you clever, it doesn't show you have your finger on the pulse of the nation. It says absolutely nothing about the intellect of the person who uses that word.

So join us in this plea. Stop calling them consumers.