"You can't trust anyone these days" is the kind of ill-informed blanket value-judgement H&G was born to dispel. The fact is, you can trust some people these days, but mostly you can't. here's a handy guide to people you should be very wary of:

1. Male vegetarians
2. Men who don't like James Bond films.
3. Men with little change purses.
4. Men who wear their sunglasses on the top of their heads.
5. Anyone who lets their dog lick their face / kiss them etc.

More handy People Not To Trust soon...

H&G really like look-a-likes. Here's the first in a sure to be long series.

Yes, it's a macho type who rogers famous Czech supermodels. And Tomas Rosicky from Arsenal.

H&G are currently taking some time out for much deserved rest and recuperation in far flung Peru (MACCHU PICCHU!) for this extra special foreign posting we felt it necessary to raise awareness of this countries fine parade based economy.

At every turn there's a broccaded group of army reservists tooting trumpets and waving flags. The national dress also appears to have a disturbing rape fantasy look to it. And at last viewing out of our bar window there was a group of people tied to the roof of a Ford transit van sitting in a large inflatable boat.

We've also discovered that llamas are not just the finest animals on the planet but Welsh spitting beasts. Think about it.

So Viva Chavez and time to get back to the poker table. Current score England 3, local US workers 0