Today is a celebration day for after several long hard weeks in boot camp, the 2nd memeber of H&G, has passed through and is now a fully paid up member of Black Squadron.

Prepare for hiding, putting eggs in ones mouth and placing bread in ones pocket.

Adam & Joe we salute you.

Horne and Corden.

The Emperor's New Clothes.

Naked Communications.

What do all three have in common I hear you ask?

Well, their day is done. Focusing on the comedy side of this posting we at H&G have long been gnashing our teeth that the pleasing whimsy of Gavin and Stacy has slowly been poisoned by the rise and rise of the two self proclaimed stars of it. And self proclaimed really is the reason why we and slowly the rest of the world has a problem.

You see, doing a robot dance and adding the suffix 'ar' to someones name may be lightly smile inducing once. And ignored thereafter. But it doth not a great comedian make.

Herein lies the problem.

Both of them think they are at the top of their game. A challenge to the greats and even, dare they say it, as good as Morecombe and Wise (they actually inferred this in a recent press article).

But anyone who witnessed the hideous car crash that was their Brits presentation knew at that moment that without Bryn, and Stacy and all the other marvelous cast, they were just one thing.

Tedious.

The Guardian when reviewing their recent live performance commented

'As my will to live fizzled away, I wondered: how has it come to this?'

Quite.

It's not often that we at H&G reprint old material. But sometimes it's worth an exception when reading a hidden gem. Remember GIGLI, the ill fated conjunction of Lopez and Affleck?

Then read with enjoyment this classic review by Empire magazine.

Gigli : Plot

Two low-level mob ops kidnap a mentally challenged youth who has something to do with a court case. One of them is a New Age lesbian; the other a young buck who thinks he can 'cure' her of that.

Review

When faced with a movie that has no redeeming qualities whatsoever, certain questions are bound to arise. The most pertinent among them is not 'why?', but 'how?' The reason why this film got made is because, on paper at least, casting two hot Hollywood stars in a romantic comedy makes sound commercial sense. 'How' is a little more tricky.How, for instance, throughout what was presumably a fairly standard production schedule - the impression that it was conceived, written, produced, shot, edited and marketed over a weekend is, perhaps, deceptive - did no-one notice that not a single element of it achieved a basic professional standard?How, given the practice of screening dailies, was it not immediately apparent that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez have such a catastrophic lack of screen chemistry that they appear to be from entirely different species?How, in the long months from pitch meeting to premiere, did it escape detection that the script, if such a thing ever existed, was written by a gibbon? That Stevie Wonder was doing the lighting? That the camera was threaded with scrunched-up Izal toilet paper? That the editor had recently lost both hands in an industrial accident? That the director was absent from the set during the entire shoot? That the soundtrack had seeped in from a Saga-produced documentary on cruising the Norfolk Broads? That the best way to capitalize on Lopez's Latino bombshell image was probably not by casting her as a nouveau hippy lesbian? That even one shot of Ben Affleck's hairy, sweaty armpit is grounds for pulling the plug on anything? That deploying a mentally-challenged character for comic effect is unspeakably offensive?How, basically, did this film ever get a release? Which is not to say how did it get a nationwide US release in over 3,000 theatres? But how did it get a release in any media format whatsoever? Beyond what we know of rampant narcissism and naked opportunism, it will remain a mystery.

Verdict

Torture. Impossible to imagine how it could've been worse. Lopez's monologue on why the vagina is more sexually alluring than the penis is the most excruciating moment in the history of motion pictures.Reviewer: Simon Braund

At what point did they think this would help them sell more food....seriously ?

Wow, is he pleased with his new suit

A new section for the blog entitled 'Wrong Mannequins' was prompted by a recent trip to Barcelona. Actually it started back in Peru with this picture. It got me thinking off the very very wrong mannequins one sees out and about, so I thought I'd start documenting them...hope you enjoy

Yes man : Part 2

The open letter caused a bit of a storm it seems but the good man was good enough to tell me he thought my criticism a little harsh. It proved to be a rather surreal exchange and my first ever celebrity argument !

An open letter to Danny Wallace after the creation of the film 'Yes Man', posted to Dannys site.

Danny, I have only ever walked out of two films....and am afraid that Yes man is one of them. How could you have allowed it to happen ? A terrible awful monstrosity of a film that betrayed every single part of your lovingly created book....I sat there with my mouth open with horror next to my girlfriend..both of us aghast about what had happened.....the old lady and the bl*wjob...dear god !!!!!!

So here's two of your fans letting you know that we felt pretty betrayed and hope that if you do let one of your most excellent adventures be used again that you either retain final signoff or have the 'once bitten twice shy' mentality to disown the whole thing. Personally I know at some point a remake will be made and this time it will do your book justice.With affection still....

Just

It seems fitting that after a rather long hiatus during January that the first post of the New Year should concern two of our favourite things. Cheese. And Monopoly.

We were rather pleased to see that a new version of Monopoly has been submitted to Hasbro where cheese remains at the forefront of the game. Cottage cheese rightly takes the worst property in the game while Stilton takes the position of best at Mayfair.

But here I suspect ends the joy. What of the Chance cards and Community Chest ? Have they also been redesigned with the same care.

We hope so. It seems only fitting that a player should be rewarded handsomely if he or indeed she had won a cheese making competition.